A paraphilia is an abnormal attraction. it includes common fetishes, but notably includes things such as attraction to minors, animals, and corpses.
A paraphilia is only an attraction - though some paraphiles act on their attractions in ways that are harmful, it is also possible to live without chosing abusive actions. (see also: contact discourse)
Paraphilias are generally understood to not be a choice.
[todo] i should expand on this section but that's my main point
[todo] I could do a lot more research on this section, but haven't (yet). I apologize for it being not very well put together. My main point is that regardless of if someone has a paraphilia or not, we should be focusing on their behavior and if they're acting in abusive ways.
It's important to note that a paraphilia is not the same thing as a paraphilic disorder, which can be treated I think.
Sexual interests are usually known to be unchanging. Though, people have tried to change paraphilic sexual interests (and related behavior) through various means.
Regardless of whether or not a paraphilia can be changed, I think it's entirely possible to live with a paraphilia and to choose not to abuse others.
I believe that viewing paraphilias as shameful is counterproductive. If someone is not harming others, then they shouldn't be ashamed of something they did not choose.
Some people worry that some paraphilias are unhealthy because they cannot be acted on ethically. Some paraphiles do feel unhappy due to not being able to have their ideal relationship ethically. But, some are happy to express their paraphilias in ways that do not cause harm.
One way of acting on fantasies is to roleplay with consenting parties.
Another is to create art and stories with paraphilic themes. It's important to make sure such art is properly tagged/warned, since these themes are usually triggering. Unlike child/animal sexual abuse material, art with fictional characters does not have a victim. Though some have argued that lolicon/feral art has other negative effects. The legality of lolicon may vary depending on country.
Some people might say that enjoying a paraphilia in any way is harmful - that it leads to the paraphilia "growing" or "becoming uncontrollable". I disagree. I think that line of thinking is the same one behind trying to ban BDSM porn, that argues that it's "feeding into deviant desires" and that people will "seek more dangerous material over time". I disagree with that line of logic - watching porn/erotica will not make you do harmful behavior or turn you into a rapist.
People also express themselves through pride. There are a lot of flags and symbols out there. I personally prefer anti-contact symbols when it comes to things like zoophilia.
I think we need to stop seeing attraction as dangerous or as something that robs people of their agency when it comes to sexual abuse. Abuse is a choice, paraphilias are not. If someone is sexually abuses children, we should focus more on them being an abuser, not that they are "a pedophile." Some people think being a pedophile and being a child molester are the same thing, but one is an attraction/thought and the other is an abusive action.
I think anti-contact paraphiles should be able to live without being treated like they're as evil as abusers.
I think there should be more anti-contact resources, that are disconnected from the pro-contact side of the community. I think a lot of anti-contact paraphiles join communities only to find that people there are secretly pro-contact or contact-neutral, and I think that needs to change.